sing for absolution
ftm. pansexual. aromantic.
feminist. ravenclaw. nerd.
-
i feel better today, still not all the way there, but better.
i went to the store and bought more raw foods, then went to two new age stores until i found the things i needed to cleanse tonight (which was fantastic, by the way, it really capped off my day and took some weight off my shoulders.)
i had a long talk with my mom that helped a lot as well. we talked about everything from my health problems, to the things going on in our lives, to the bad things that have happened to us in the past, and then finally how we can move forward. i talked more in-depth about my trans issues than i ever have, and i know she still doesn’t understand, but she’s trying really hard.
i went through some belongings today, things that were passed down to me from deceased family members, and had a little talk with some of them. i know you hear that sort of thing on television and everything, but it really helps, to talk to a deceased loved one like they’re still there while you’re holding something of theirs.
i also ate an amazing, huge spinach salad and some raw broccoli soup for dinner and my stomach is feeling really good. i have some cold-brewed tea steeping in the refrigerator right now, sweetened with jerusalem artichoke syrup, which is just as good as all the websites say it is.
i’m going to get a good sleep tonight after i meditate a bit, and count tomorrow as a new day where i’ll try to put everything behind me for a bit.
just have to keep thinking happy thoughts.
-
my heart has been so heavy lately. i think i need to unload everything for a bit. there’s a few people i need to come out to for my own mental health.
i’m going to talk to my mom today about some things.
i also have errands to run so i think i am going to go to the metaphysical suppliers and get the things for my first full moon ritual. i need a deep cleansing and some meditation time.
-
i don’t think my new medicine is working. for mood stabilizers, they haven’t been “stabilizing” me at all.
everything is making me mad, everything is making me cry, everything is making me feel like complete shit.
it doesn’t help matters at all that i’ve started my period, which is the worst possible thing for my dysphoria.
i’ve seriously spent a good portion of tonight sitting in the dark and just crying.
i need something in my life to make me happy and i don’t know what it is. everytime i try to start something to fix myself it either crashes down around me or i lose the motivation. i’m finding myself in a bad place again and i need to get out.
i said it earlier and i’ll say it again, i really fucking need a hug right now.
-
Quote reblogged from well, cross my heart and hope to....A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside remains the same.Brock Harrison (via dweeb-strider)
(Source: supey)
-
Photoset reblogged from sexgenderbody
19 year old transman violently attacked for being trans
19-year-old transman, James Alexander, was violently attacked for being trans yesterday morning while going for a walk in his neighborhood. To get to his destination, he had to walk past the house of a girl he was once interested in who had turned him down in the past (saying that “she can’t be with him because he’s not a real man” and that “she’d consider him IF he had a penis.”, and also calling him a “faggot”.), but he didn’t think anything of it, as he’s lived in the area for three years. He certainly wasn’t expecting what was to come.
As he walked past the house of the girl, she came out, and told him she wanted to talk to him. James stopped, to be polite, and because he figured he’d let her say what she needed to say. She asked him if he is a man, to which he said “Yes.”. She then told him to prove he’s a man. He told her off, and began to walk away. As he was walking away, he felt someone grab the back of his shirt. The person spun him around to face them, and he discovered that it was the girls six-foot-five, 25-year-old boyfriend, Mark. Mark yelled in his face and also told him to prove he was a guy. James told him to back off, and shoved him away. Both the girl and Mark called James a “faggot”, and he began to cry. The two of them then proceeded to make fun of James for crying, saying “Oh look, the little girl is crying”. James started to walk away again, as Mark approached him and punched him in the face, right in the eye.. and continued hitting him repeatedly, while laughing, because James was crying.
James, who is significantly smaller than Mark, at five-foot-eight, and is not a violent person at all, defended himself as best he could, and got away.. but not before he sustained injuries to his face and hand, as well as psychological trauma.
James’ mother called the police, and also had him take photos of his injuries.. but it would seem that Mark is not going to be charged, after all. James explains, “It’s his word against mine. He has his mom, his girl, and three other people saying he didn’t do anything.. so even though I have a broken face and can’t physically stop crying or shaking, he is just getting a warning. I’m pressing charges, but he won’t be arrested. Just told to go to court on a certain day I guess.”
The bottom line is that he was attacked for a specific reason; for being trans. That qualifies what happened to him as a hate crime. This was a violent transphobic attack, and the guy who did this to this 19 year old transman, needs to be charged and convicted accordingly. It’s unfortunate that they won’t arrest Mark.. but I do hope that once this goes to court, he’s punished. He shouldn’t be able to just get away with this. Too many times has an incident like this happened, and the attacker gone free. It’s time we (transgender individuals) started being taken seriously when things like this happen to us.
If anyone who is reading this knows of any resources that could help James to ensure his attacker is convicted (legal counsel for trans people, etc), he can be contacted at ericjames1302@yahoo.com.
Also, if you’re a journalist who would like to write about this, I encourage you to do so, as increasing awareness about this incident is very important. There needs to be a huge public outcry about this. This boy needs all the support he can get. Then, maybe something will be done.
Once again, James can be contacted at ericjames1302@yahoo.com.Please reblog. Infinitely. The world must hear about this.
No one should have to go through anything like this. Everyone has the right to be who they are, and accepted. I hope beyond hope that Mark is arrested for doing this.
On top of all that, Mark is pressing charges against James. Because he hit back. Once. In self-defense. And Mark doesn’t have a scratch on him. But the police still showed up at James’ door. He doesn’t deserve something this horrible, nobody does.
-
